I think the worst part of having my apartment broken into ( I mean besides being there when it happened and having this guy try to do things to me…) is that I feel so paranoid and it makes me feel like it’s going to happen again. I don’t feel safe and I can’t even be in my apartment now without having every single door locked. I can’t sleep at night and I am terrified of being here alone now. 

I wish I could just forget what happened last night/this morning. Every time I close my eyes I see the event over and over again. I don’t want to remember it. I just want it to go away. I almost wish I never even filed a report with the police, I feel like this is just going to go on and on and on when I just want it to be over. It happened, and I know that it happened and even if the police do whatever it is they need to do with this guy it isn’t going to change anything. It’s not going to make it go away, it’s not going to make it better. In the end I will still feel scared and paranoid, so why does it even matter? This guy will still be living in the same building as me and I will still have to see his face and remember the moment he took away my sense of safety and security. :/

My apartment was broken into at 4 am this morning by a drunken frat boy, and he more or less assaulted me. If it weren’t for my quick thinking I could have been raped.  Needless to say I got no sleep after the incident. Every time I heard even the smallest of sounds I was scared to death. And I blamed myself. I was the one that left the door unlocked. I could have prevented the whole thing, that’s what the police officer told me today when I filed my report and made my statement. I am the victim, but because of my “carelessness” it is MY FAULT. 

That is completely absurd. I had always felt completely safe in my apartment and I had left the door unlocked for my roommate. She went out earlier in the night and I knew she would need the door unlocked. I didn’t ask for this to happen. I didn’t want this to happen and I am certainly not the person to blame for what happened. 

I lost my peace of mind. I lost my feeling of security.

For the first time in my entire life I was completely scared of another human being. 

My parents are coming to visit me for the weekend. I guess this means I should do my laundry, and clean my apartment…and maybe bake cookies so it smells nice (not that my apartment stinks, cause it doesn’t…it just doesn’t smell like anything at all.)

I promise I am super nice :)